Great Horror Scripts?

[Shindig]

I'm fucking sick of zombies, sorry.  Seems to me film, tv and games are awash with zombies of some variance.  Just thought I'd get that off my chest.

Then dont watch any more zombie filmes

That's like not checking out every girl (or guy, let's not be exclusive) that walks onto the same bus as you.  It's unavoidable.

[ScriptNurse]

I should mention that the public's appetite for all things horror seems to be insatiable.

[ravenskya]

I'm fucking sick of zombies, sorry.  Seems to me film, tv and games are awash with zombies of some variance.  Just thought I'd get that off my chest.

Then dont watch any more zombie filmes

[Shindig]

I'm fucking sick of zombies, sorry.  Seems to me film, tv and games are awash with zombies of some variance.  Just thought I'd get that off my chest.

Anyway, does Hard Candy count as a horror?  Kinda (not really) but I just remembered I've got that script as a DVD extra.  Can't be too bothered to read it, though.  Might provide some influence or whatever.

[ScriptNurse]

Regarding the bookshelf thing ... check out www.CreateSpace.com (an Amazon company) ... write it, format it and generate a PDF and cover art and — POOF! — you can publish in days. We just published two plays written by my writing partner. We should get proof number two today and so far it's amazing — did I mention cheap?

[Chuck58]

I don't feel so alone now. It's a 'thing' I've got. I want something as perfect as I can make it before going on to the next page.

I was advised that I'd be better off just going for it and finishing the thing, then starting the re-write. Well, the first 50 or so pages are about as good as I can do them. I'm focusing on the last half. At least the fool thing is done.

I have a problem that I think I mentioned in another post somewhere. Once I finish something, I want to be able to run down to a bookstore and immediately see it on the shelves, or drive to a theater and see it on the marquee.

[ravenskya]

Chuck - That's where I was stuck, I'd re-written the same 55 pages probably 13 times and I finally decided that I just need to plow through to the end and get it done before doing any more re-writing.

[Chuck58]

Also, don't be surprised if during the re-write entire scenes change. In my abomination, the first 40 or 50 pages were re-written at least 5 times before I decided to just push through to the end rather than try to be perfect with each page.

The action was the same, but looking at the original and finished product (or almost finished, I hope), there's no comparison. What you need to do is know when enough is enough. I think every person, eventually, reaches a point where the re-writing begins to detract rather than improve.

[uncle_al]

Thank you guys, that really helps... I'm reworking what I have now to see where I end up.  This first draft is going to need a lot of TLC to get it up to snuff once I'm done.

No problem, ravenskya.  This is what we do here. 
Don't forget to remember what our esteemed host, Don (the ScriptNurse) says:  Writing is rewriting.  Keep after it, and it'll get done.

Cheers!
Al B.

[ravenskya]

Thank you guys, that really helps... I'm reworking what I have now to see where I end up.  This first draft is going to need a lot of TLC to get it up to snuff once I'm done.

[scripto]

Terrific example, uncle al.  Here is an actual rewrite from my script.

Version #1

EXT - A HILLSIDE IN CALIFORNIA - DAY

Worms-eye view of road. A ladybug waddles into view as the sound of two powerful cars come into hearing somewhere in the distance. As the bug reaches mid-screen the first of 2 cars (a very sharp foreign sports car) slides around the corner, barely holding the road and zooms over the camera, nearly pulling the bug from the macadam. Just as the bug recovers, the second car (a rusty old sedan) flies around the corner, having an even harder time holding the road and zooms over the camera; Squashing the ladybug with it’s right front tire.

Version #2

EXT - A HILLSIDE ROAD IN CALIFORNIA - DAY

SUPER: SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

Waves of heat rise from the scorching hot surface. A ladybug waddles into view as:

THE ROAR of two distinct, but powerful cars comes into hearing somewhere in the distance.

The bug reaches mid-screen as the first of the cars (a very sharp foreign sports car) slides around the corner, barely holding the road and zooms over the bug, nearly pulling it from the macadam.

Just as the bug recovers, the second car (a rusty old sedan) flies around the corner, having an even harder time holding the road and zooms over the ladybug, squashing it.

Does this make sense?  Instead of being one long monotonous droning paragraph, it becomes a sharp staccato read.  Your eyes now move through, jumping from step to step.

[uncle_al]

Scripto is absolutely right.

There are usually natural break points in action scenes - you can tell that the focus is shifting, and the director will probably read it and go "Wow, I can really show that if I...{insert shot type here}!"

An example of same, made up on the fly...

JANA careens headlong through the doorway, flinging the door closed behind her.  Before the door has a chance to bounce off the jamb, it CRASHES back, imbedding itself in the wall behind it.  A large, misshapen foot POUNDS the floor, with an unseen but massive bulk still in the room beyond the door.

And now, broken up...

INT. NEXT ROOM - NIGHT

JANA careens headlong through the doorway.  She grabs the door, flinging it closed behind her.

The door heads for the doorjamb...

With an explosive CRASH, the door flies back, straining its hinges.

A large, misshapen FOOT hits the floor with a sickening thud.

The attached leg rises into the darkness beyond, suggesting much, but showing little.

A slight rewrite as I formatted... permissible, I should think.

Each short block suggests (not demands) another shot... "directing without directing", as it were.

Cheers!
Al B.

[scripto]

Thank you Uncle_Al - I'm just having a mentally hard time with the fact that there is a LOT of violence and very little chatter in my movie, and I'm just not sure where the line is between writing what happens, and  directing through my writing - specifically the violence.  I'm writing a survival horror so there are very few speaking characters (most of the time they are hiding or running, or fighting for their lives) and when I look at my screenplay - I just don't like how there there is very little whitespace on my paper.

MG, sorry to hijack your thread!

Even with a lot of action, and very little speaking, you still have to have a blueprint to make a movie.  That blueprint is the script, and there is always a script, unless you and your friends are just making it up as you go.  The action needs to be broken up into easy to read 'chunks', not more than 4 lines long each.  That will add 'white space' to your pages.  When I wrote my first script, it had loads of big long descriptive action, and people tore into me about how they were having brain aneurysms trying to read all that text.  I thought they were nuts, and how could they ever read a book, since paragraphs are a whole lot longer than that.  Then I read and studied a bunch of scripts, and went back to look at mine.  Sure enough, as soon as I started reading those long pieces of action, break points began to stand out like crazy!  Take a look at your work, and you'll 'feel', where the break points can be, and you'll find that the white space just show right up!

[ravenskya]

Thank you Uncle_Al - I'm just having a mentally hard time with the fact that there is a LOT of violence and very little chatter in my movie, and I'm just not sure where the line is between writing what happens, and  directing through my writing - specifically the violence.  I'm writing a survival horror so there are very few speaking characters (most of the time they are hiding or running, or fighting for their lives) and when I look at my screenplay - I just don't like how there there is very little whitespace on my paper.

MG, sorry to hijack your thread!

[uncle_al]

I can't imagine "Halloween" having an extensive script prior to the shooting script, or even Friday the 13th... so little dialogue and so much violence.  How much of the nasty bloody death scenes do we spell out or leave to the director to do?

Since Sean Cunningham has had extensive dealings with Victor Miller, who wrote the script, and John Carpenter co-wrote the script with Debra Hill, I'd bet that they had extensive shooting scripts and shot breakdowns by the time they reached production.  That's how it's done... Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

I'm I making a pest of myself yet?

No, not on my part... as I've said before, the only stupid question is the one you didn't ask.

Answers are what we have in stock.  Some of them are even the right ones...

Cheers!
Al B.