Whew!! Dante script done (first draft, anyway)

[Chuck58]

Everyone seems to like the first part. I'm going to try and get the last few pages posted within the next couple of days.

I'll tell ya, I am so sick of this Dante character. Living in the head of a certifiable nut for two years writing two novels and almost a year with this screenplay ought to qualify me for some kind of reward for just staying sane. Or, reasonably sane.

[scripto]

I read your samples and it reads very smoothly!  Dante's character is strongly understated, and makes a perfect 'blend into the background' killer.  Strong descriptions, simple dialog, and smooth action/description.  Very nicely written!  I look forward to seeing the cleaned up version, as I very much liked the early pages!

[Chuck58]

Hi, Scripto.

The samples are down in the SHOWCASE section, near the bottom of the board. They're from Feb and not current at all. I'll try and get a few pages of the latest up maybe this evening or by the weekend.

Keep in mind, they're not the finished draft. I don't think they're ever finished. Like someone said, "no manuscript ever existed that couldn't benefit by another trip through the typewriter."

[scripto]

Congratulations on your progress.  I don't see any posting of it below, or a link to it.  I'd be happy to take a read of some of it for you, if you want to put it up.

I'm currently putting my feature under the knife, and it's going to be a major rewrite and a very long haul, but it's already looking MUCH better!

[Chuck58]

Okay, 100 1/2 pages and I can't trim any more. And, without cutting any scenes.

Now, I've got to decide about the flashback scenes. I think I posted the beginning of this monstrosity down below. A few pages in, I have Dante getting a bed in a homeless shelter. He falls asleep and the flashback to his childhood begins. I'm wondering if that shouldn't be moved to the beginning. It's 6 or 7 pages long. I've seen movies that go both ways.

Both begin with action. The first, Dante is following an old man, whom he kills. The childhood scenes show him 20 yrs earlier being chased, caught and beaten up by bigger kids.

Just thinking out loud - or in post form, or something.

[Chuck58]

I got the thing hacked down to 103 pages over the last couple or 3 days. Did it without cutting any scenes. I mentioned in another thread my penchant for directing. I'll let it sit for a few days, then take another look.

[uncle_al]

It's good you've been working, Chuck...  beats the hell out of nitpicking and flyspecking hospitals and rehab facilities on behalf of my mother-in-law for the past 100 days (ending on 6 June, D-Day).

Tired is completely and unequivocally inadequate to describe our state of being...

Cheers!
Al B.

[Chuck58]

It came in at 110 pages, maybe a bit too long, but I'm not sure. I wrote it on a Vista laptop using MM6. I've discovered that my ancient printer won't work with Vista.

So, saved it to rtf format and moved it to my desktop, into Final Draft, which produced the 110 pages. In MM6, the script finished with 91 or 92 pages. That's a big difference!

Length aside, the first half of the script has been re-written to death. The second half is what needs work.

Anyway, that's why I've been absent for the past month or two.