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Author Topic: New Synopsis  (Read 1600 times)
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ScriptNurse
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« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2010, 12:13:44 AM »

To read a synopsis, go here:  http://www.scriptnurse.com/forum/index.php/topic,1100.30.html
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Don Bledsoe
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« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2010, 05:27:49 PM »

So there is a big difference between a synopsis and a pitch, and, believe it or not, there's no such thing as an "industry standard" for either.  Right now, this synopsis reads like a pitch, where you're trying to grab someone's attention so you can get them to read the script.  A true synopsis will contain all major plot points necessary for and including the completion of the story.

Assuming you're trying to get someone's attention here, I would get to the point faster.  If you can write a 100 word pitch that grabs someone's attention -- heck, if you can write a logline to grab someone's attention -- do it.  For example, if this is for a query, get everything down to a single paragraph.

You can check out the blog at http://www.logliners.com for more tips.
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vicariously me
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« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2010, 10:27:34 PM »

I was told that industry standard for a synopsis is in the ballpark of 450 words so I've modified the previous post a bit. Is it enough. Does it need less? Does it pique interest at all? Have a gander...


"ADRIFT" is a coming of age Sci-Fi thriller set in the golden era utopia of 1955. It is a cautionary tale of perception that explores the unique bond between a brother and sister as they plunge into perilous, out of this world depths of the unknown.

Seventeen-year-old SAMANTHA "SAM" WRIGHT'S greatest fear is missing out on life's grand adventures. With an ailing mother, her fate is sealed-- as caretaker of younger brother DONNIE, an unpredictable thirteen-year-old with a brain disorder and penchant for odd behavior.

Following graduation, Sam is invited on a houseboat excursion. A weekend retreat to discover independence, romance and maybe even a little purpose... that is until she learns that Donnie is going with her.

Packed in a '55 Nomad, Sam, Donnie and four of Sam's free-wheeling friends, Jane, Robbie, Fuzzy and Chuck venture into the deep reaches of New Mexico, arriving at a mysterious Indian reservation-- A mystical land of rituals and reverie, where ancient traditions coalesce with fabled flying saucers and missing persons reports.

Upon arrival, a scuffle ensues with a pack of unsavory types. A few bumps and bruises later sends Sam to the bar for ice where she encounters ex-military officer Major Richard Lee Rourke, a resident barfly who claims involvement of the 1947 Roswell crash. Rourke rambles on about the fallen aliens being "collectors of sorts" in search of something in the vicinity before being shot down by the U.S. Government.

A houseboat is rented. Sam and friends arrive at a designated location-- a place that Chuck strongly feels is over-populated. The next day Sam, Donnie and Robbie take a dingy back to camp to buy more ice. While away, Chuck commandeers the houseboat to an "off limits" section of the lake-- A breathtaking landscape of lush greenery and warm crystal-blue water.

Despite early warnings to leave the area, Chuck unwittingly decides to take a swim and gets entangled in a thicket of strange reeds that he claims "pulled him under." Things quickly take a turn for the worse when a body surfaces. A grossly emaciated and hairless body pocked with strange metallic rings.

Sam, Donnie and Robbie return to find the body pulled aboard the houseboat. They immediately bring this to the attention of the reservation director, Nantan-- the wise old Indian Chief who advises them to return to the houseboat and wait for the authorities. When they return, the body is gone and they are left adrift on a houseboat tethered to something at the bottom of the lake.

In the end Sam and friends find themselves unconscious and clinging to life in a most unexpected place with the most unexpected person to save them.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2010, 02:45:26 PM by ScriptNurse » Logged
ScriptNurse
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« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2009, 01:33:06 PM »

How about "Sam and Donnie"? I like the personal feel it has. Other ideas?

Your logline has almost none of this feel.
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Don Bledsoe
Head Nurse
Write better ... right now!
Good scripts are those that get bought.
Want to write screenplays? READ SCREENPLAYS!
Write it right and they'll say it right!
NO SPEEDBUMPS!
Want control? GO TO FILM SCHOOL!
vicariously me
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« on: November 15, 2009, 10:35:00 AM »

Would love your thoughts...


ADRIFT

"ADRIFT" is a coming of age Sci-Fi thriller set in the golden era utopia of 1955. It is a tale of perception that explores the unique bond between a brother and sister as they plunge into perilous depths of the unknown.

Seventeen-year-old SAMANTHA "SAM" WRIGHT'S biggest fear is missing out on life's grand adventure. With an ailing mother, her fate is sealed-- as caretaker of younger brother DONNIE, an unpredictable thirteen-year-old who suffers a severe brain disorder.

Following graduation, Sam is invited on a houseboat excursion. A weekend retreat to discover some independence, romance and maybe even a little purpose. That is... until she learns that Donnie is going with her.

Packed in a '55 Nomad, Sam, Donnie and four of Sam's friends venture into the deep reaches of New Mexico, arriving at a mysterious Indian reservation-- A mystical land of rituals and reverie, where ancient traditions coalesce with fabled flying saucers. The perfect backdrop for adventure.

Sam and friends rent a houseboat and end up adrift on an "off limits" section of the lake. What's worse, Donnie's potential outbursts keep Sam on edge, seemingly destined to embarrass her and ruin everything.

But not everything is as seems as Sam finds herself unconscious and clinging to life in an otherworldly environment with only one person to save her.
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