Script Nurse Forum
February 09, 2012, 09:25:14 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length

News: YOU MUST REGISTER in order to post and use the CHAT ROOM. It's FREE, of course, but necessary. MAIN SITE returns you to the main Script Nurse website and HOME brings you back to the top of the forums. CHAT ROOM access is automatic once you've registered.

THIS FORUM IS ABOUT SCREENWRITING. It has nothing to do with nursing, health care, nursing jobs, medicine or scripting language programming. Posts with these subjects are IMMEDIATELY deleted and the user who posted the topic is permanently banned.
 

  MAIN SITE   Home   Help Search Login Register  
Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: Trauma  (Read 511 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
ScriptNurse
Head Nurse
Private Coach
Screenwriter-Producer
*
Posts: 1322


Head Nurse


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2010, 12:17:41 PM »

Or maybe something like this ...

Plagued by visions of her mothers death, a teen girl's traumatic brain injury brings the past into the present where she must deal with the ultimate reality.

... or ...

A teen girl's traumatic brain injury forces the past into the present where her ultimate reality must be dealt with.

There's a certain awkwardness with the "the ultimate reality" phrase, but I don't have a better replacement.




Logged

Don Bledsoe
Head Nurse
Write better ... right now!
Good scripts are those that get bought.
Want to write screenplays? READ SCREENPLAYS!
Write it right and they'll say it right!
NO SPEEDBUMPS!
Want control? GO TO FILM SCHOOL!
aj1981
Studio Screenwriter
**
Posts: 47


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2010, 09:16:41 PM »

I liked the first one. The second one didn't sound at all like the first one.
Logged
Queen Mab
New Screenwriter
*
Posts: 7


"Then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.."


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2010, 08:12:20 PM »

Ok, I went over my logline, and went through some posts and decided to try something different. Bear with me if you will heheh

Trauma is a cautionary tale of "be careful what you wish for," following a troubled teenager longing to be reunited with her mother after a fatal car accident took her life. Alone and on the streets, she must learn to control the visions which plague her, causing her to live half in the past, and half in reality. So will love ultimately save her, or will it condemn her to the ultimate reality?

hmm I don't know which one works better...
is it ok to use italics in loglines?
Logged

"I saw the best the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machine-ery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
 up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz..." -Allen Ginsberg   "Howl"
Queen Mab
New Screenwriter
*
Posts: 7


"Then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.."


View Profile
« on: September 10, 2010, 08:03:39 PM »

Note, this is my first attempt ever at a logline, so be gentle heheh

When a troubled teenage girl is plagued by visions of her mothers death, a traumatic brain injury brings the past into the present, where she must deal with the ultimate reality. Or is it reality at all?

Logged

"I saw the best the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machine-ery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
 up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz..." -Allen Ginsberg   "Howl"
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.16 | SMF © 2011, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!

Bad Behavior has blocked 152 access attempts in the last 7 days.