First script and story project any help would be great

[uncle_al]

Turning it into "a real work of art" is okay, I suppose...

My concern would be to make the throughlines understandable.  If you look at an early draft of George Lucas' Star Wars script, you can see he was getting off on other tracks that ended up getting spread throughout the entire six movie cycle.  I remember hearing back in the '80's that it was supposed to be nine movies, with the last three showing the continuing struggles of an older Luke, Han, and Leia to preserve, protect, and defend the new Republic.

My main advice... Keep it moving.  You can't see the teeth on a buzz-saw. <Old Hollywood maxim.>

Al B.

[rnbrewer]

I almost think this would work out better as a novel. It sounds well developed and interesting. But you would have to pull the audience into this new world of yours that appears to be very detailed and unique. The way I understand it, saga's ( or trilogy's) are a tough sell in Hollywood. I'm a little unclear as to whether or not you intend to sell it as a trilogy, but I figured I'd throw that last bit in just in case. I would definitely be willing to pick up the hardback at Borders if it were a novel though. These are early speculations though and I would like to hear more about the story. I look forward to the future posts.

[forestguardian2007]

So what do you think?

The story is still under construction and growing very fast but I think its good.

any commends, suggestions, or anything else would be great i hope to turn this idea into a real work of art one day.

[forestguardian2007]

Title- Hania, the Last Guardian, Saga

Story, characters, history and artwork created by: Kenneth Casteel Jr (My) Copyright 2007

This is my first try at script and real story writing so there are going to be some grammar and spelling problems but it is being edited.

If you could I got some questions at the bottem if you would please answer it would help alot.

 This will be an animated (only way to make deer like characters look right) show as soon as I can get the script looking good. The story is broken up into 3 sagas:

1) Trials of the Guardian
2) The Day Hurit Fell (movie or feature length back story)
3) Hania the Last Guardian (main story)

Storyline (Trials of the Guardian)-

 763 years after the fall of man a young Honovian (Strong Deer) named Hania Dyani age 16 that is about to under go a test of to become a Guardian like his father before him. Along with his best friend Yamka Elu age 15 will face the hardships and Triumphs of the 7 trials of Essen chant. Unknown to Hania, Yamka hold a spiritual bond with her friend that is much more than just friendship. She can feel everything he feels. Along there Journey Hania will put to the greatest test anyone could endure the death of his family. In the end will Hania be strong enough to endure the pain and sadness of the greatest thing anyone one can loss his family? Or will Hania fall by the way side as so many others before him?

This is the first chapter (still  being edited)-


Chapter - Eepisode 1- Childhoods Final Days: http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/4/27/1021456/Chapter%20One-%20Childhoods%20Final%20Days%20unedited%20final%20draft.doc

This is only the pilot. There are some parts in the ()'s that are only there as an aid for the voice actors.

Chapter 2- Family Vs Friendship (currently being written)

Storyline-

 With Enupay struck down and the young ones in danger Tyion engages Helushka in there first battle since Hurit fell. Hania unknowingly begins the first trial, as Yamka is captured but the hunters. His friendship with Yamka and the love for his father will be push him to answer one of the hardest questions he will every be face Family or friendship?


The Day Hurit Fell storyline-

 Enupay and Tyion get word of a small Honovian Village under attack by the remnants of Nukpana’s hunters. Unknown to Enupay his brother Tohopka that was exiled from Topanga is there new leader. Can Enupay and Tyion stop the siege of the small village of Hurit and save the villager’s?

Hania the Last Guardian-

 4 years after the trials where completed Hania sets out on a quest to bring Tohopka and the rest of him followers down with the help of his best friend Yamka and Tyion's loving wife Ananda to avenge the deaths of there families, friends, and villages lost to the Tohopka's evil acts. Along the way Hania will discover that only through his kindness, inner strength and devotion to his family and friends will he create a new safe world for his friends to live in.

 Now with Ayasha aiding Tohopka sets her mind on just one think to killer her older brother after she is told that he was the one that destroyed her village and killed her family.

 Ok that is all I have so far it is kind of long sorry about that.

_________________________________________________________

Here are some of the questions I have please answer if you can:

What did you think of the story so far?

Could you fall in love with Animal-like characters?

What did you think of the characters?

Do you have a favorite yet?

Is there anything I could fix that would make the story better? (other then grammar and spelling these will be done by my editor)

long post but is going to be a long script lol


 If you would like anymore information about the story or would like me to post any artwork please let me know.


Thanks alot