Need some help with the cultural aspect of the characters in my story

[rnbrewer]

I need some clarification: Are you writing a story, or a screenplay? If it's a screenplay your writing than you need to learn the format. At this point, your script is completely devoid format.

Even still, if it's a story your writing, the format is still a bit off. It looks more like your shooting for screen/playwriting. If this is the case then I would suggest downloading the free Cinergy Script editing software offered on this forum.

[forestguardian2007]

Thanks alot I'm already trying to thin out the talking as much as I can. I want to make the story fun and action packed but also stay true to my storys 2 messages:

1) "Love, hope, honor will concur all"
2) "Cherish the ones you love, and the ones that love you for they are lost in the blink of an eye"

_____________________________

As for the first chapter I'm trying to show the family and world setting. I will try to make that more clear sorry.

Is there anything that may need to be reworked or taken out all togeather?

[padnar]

Hi ,
I read your story. your concept is correct  I feel that the narrator should
Introduce himself and say that I am a buck and this is my story
script writing should be  action oriented script according to many script writing experts
this is my personal opinion

[forestguardian2007]

 I finally got the first episode nearly done. Would anyone be willing to check it out?

I mainly need help thinning it out at this point I know its long. Is there anything you can see that I could remove or shorten. I'm to into my story at this piont to give objective critz.

 Well here it is:

Episode 1- Childhoods Final Days

http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/4/27/1021456/Childhoods%20Final%20Days.doc

[rnbrewer]

I think it is important to note also that leaving out the human element entirely may alienate your audience. We are, after all, human. One of the reasons charcters like Howard the Duck (and yes, even Bambi) are so successful is because we can relate to them. And the reason we relate to them is because they have human qualities with human problems. That, and it can be really tough creating a universe that is completely devoid of the human element. It's like trying to decribe how an alien moves or what an alien looks like. Since the majority of us haven't seen one all we can really do is speculate and apply human qualities to them.

I like that you want to expand on the whole idea of culture and society. Just be careful about how deep you go with it. Other than that I think you have a pretty story going for you. I can't wait to read it.

[uncle_al]

Would it still make sence being they are animal like characters?

 I'm trying to stear as far from Bambi as I can as far as the characters designs and story but am running into the believeablity factor. Could you see an animal like creature say piloting a vehical?

Well, since all tool-using sapient races that we know of {emphasis added} have manipulative appendages with opposable digits, and are bipedally erect, that does bring things to a semi-humaniform aspect.
If that's your intention, and you can live with that, then it's fine.

Al B.
Phylogeny recapitulates ontogeny

[forestguardian2007]

Would it still make sence being they are animal like characters?

 I'm trying to stear as far from Bambi as I can as far as the characters designs and story but am running into the believeablity factor. Could you see an animal like creature say piloting a vehical?

[padnar]

I dont think your characters
using modern technology will be a problem
as i mystic forces there are such characters using
modern gadgets
 

[forestguardian2007]

Here is what the story is about-

Title- Hania the Last Guardian
Genre- Romance, Drama, Action, Adventure

 2 friends struggle to survive in a post apocalyptic world. Her past will lead him to his future. His future will unlock her past. With many enemy’s to plague there lives both physically and mentally will they be able to save there world and the ones they once loved?

Though there struggle they discover the power of inner-strength, the love they both have for each other, and to cherish the memory’s and people they love because they are lost in a blink of an eye.
-----------------------------------------
These characters are a deer/human Hybrid so this is why I'm asking the following question

 I'm trying to leave the human element out of the story, but I was thinking it is a story after mankinds fall, should I make their culture based on themselfs alone or should I use the human element as a basis.

 What I mean is should my characters operate machines and live in human like buildings or should I leave the setting in the darkages as far as technology, agriculture, and building construction.

 I know is kind of a strange question but if anyone could help I will be greatful.

Thanks