White Space on the Page....

[tzpilot]

Thanks for the input, Don.

You have a great thing going here...

I think good use of imagery can really set the tone of what you're trying to convey.  I guess that's moving the story forward.   It seems the more scripts that I read, the more I understand how it can work.  I just wish "they" (the pros) wouldn't make it look so damm easy...

 

Thanks,

Dan

[ScriptNurse]

Dan,

Precision wordsmithing is a very difficult craft to master. Just keep at it and you'll get there.

There are a lot of "experts" out there. What works is what works. It's that simple. If you need a lot of description, you need it ... but it has to work, too.

I think what's important is that the action must propel the story forward. As long as that's happening, you're good. Make sure your subtext and imagery is clear so that even a Hollywood bean counter will get it.

If you'd like to post a snippet in the "Showcase" section ... maybe before and after versions ... I've no doubt you'll get some feedback.

[tzpilot]

Hi all,

I think I have arrived at a crossroads here in my screenwriting education and am looking for a little direction from some of the more experienced guys and gals.

Whenever I have even a minute of free time I spend it reading about and educating myself on this great craft.  It's become an obsession that intrigues me beyond my own comprehension, if at all anything, just because of it's sheer difficulty to perfect.   I do my best to read several screenplays each month and try to pick them apart to see why they work so well.  And it does work in helping me develop my own personal style.   

Everyone says SHOW don't TELL...  I get that, but on the other hand, white space on the page seems to be golden.  What screams amateur vs. what looks professional.  I've really been trying to change my style a bit to use more SHOW than TELL.  That's good I think...   In order to try to find well written examples of this, I decided to read "CAST AWAY" because there's almost an hours worth of scenes with no dialogue.  There is literally page after page of scenes and descriptions showing action.  It seemed to me like a lot of prose... yet it works.  It works well...  So off I go, following by example.  Writing my scenes with good descriptions that are colorful, informative, yet brief and to the point.  I split up my actions and descriptions in 3 or 4 sentence paragraphs, all in an attempt to make it read easier.  Then, just  to be told by a teacher or another that it's just too much description, or not enough white space.  I've already read several "BIG" Hollywood movie scripts and several small "Indie" film scripts in which the writers employ these techniques. They work!  They present very powerful imagery that moves the story forward, and at the same time, creating very visceral experiences for the audience.

I guess my question is where is the line drawn?  If white space on the page is characteristic of a pro, how do you show rather than tell without using "white space"?  I have so many scenes that I've written that could be so much more powerful through the use of subtext and imagery rather than dialogue.  I've just been apprehensive to go this direction because of what I've been told.

Sorry to babble on so long... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Dan