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Author Topic: Logline Early Withdrawal  (Read 1055 times)
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ScriptNurse
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« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2008, 10:36:08 PM »
AJ ... nice version of the logline ... simpler.
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Don Bledsoe
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Write better ... right now! Good scripts are those that get bought.
Want to write screenplays? READ SCREENPLAYS!
Write it right and they'll say it right! NO SPEEDBUMPS!
Want control? GO TO FILM SCHOOL!
ajc5o5o
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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2008, 10:05:59 PM »
I like it, gives you a feel for where the story can go but maybe get rid of the unsuspecting part. Unless of course he was anaware that he was going to rob the bank, which could be quite  amusing (chris farley in Tommy Boy LOL!). Also I'm asuming you meant hostage not witness...I'd probably say something like....

"Forced to take a female hostage, a gullible bank robber slowly realizes he's being dooped by the seductive woman."

I'm fairly new so take it with a grain of salt unless you like it!

AJ
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Tatuuk
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« on: October 04, 2008, 08:26:37 PM »
An unsuspecting bank robber is forced to take a beautiful seductive witness, but finds out that he's the one that's been shanghaied.
 
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