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Author Topic: The Choice  (Read 1905 times)
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rnbrewer
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« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2009, 10:19:24 PM »

Thanks again Don. I'll be sure to do that. I'm curious to see people's reaction to it. I doubt we'll have a big premiere or anything fancy, but there will be enough people there for me to see. I'm also one of those people who's been blessed with a handful of friends who don't think twice about telling me something sucks. Especially if I did it. So I'll be able to get some kind of honest review. I think your right, though. Watching the reactions from people in the audience will be a dead giveaway. I've already started making my list of "What NOT To Do" for the next film. Things like -- Don't wait till the last minute to figure out my lighting -- sort of stuff.

 Cheesy 
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ScriptNurse
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« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2009, 09:31:59 PM »

Talky scenes will become a NIGHTMARE to edit as the pacing lumbers along and there's precious little coverage shots to insert into the scene. As they watch, the audience will find themselves wondering how long this goes on. When it's done and it's shown, sit in the back so you can see everyone. Do you see a lot of little movement or fidgeting about 10-12 minutes in? If you do, they're bored. I don't care how much they tell you they loved it to your face, you'll know. Be gracious and thank everyone profusely for their artistic contribution. It'll be a great learning experience you'll remember for a long time.
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Don BledsoeWant to write screenplays? READ SCREENPLAYS!
Screenwriter & ProducerWant control? GO TO FILM SCHOOL!
Representation: Eileen OFarrell, OFarrell Management (818) 985-3136
Attorney: Paul S. Levine (310) 450-6711
Websites: Script Nurse, Go With The Flo Productions Inc., Queen Dad
rnbrewer
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« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2009, 12:23:48 PM »

I was able to break the opening scene down into smaller, more managable shots. That's the only way I could think of to do it. Your estimate on time is almost spot on. The film rounded out at about 15 1/2 minutes. To be honest I thought it was going to take longer.

I keep trying to tell my partner that his dialogue needs work. It gets very long winded at times and yes, he does use a lot of unnecessary words. I'm not so sure I would call it an art film. In fact, I'm not sure what to call this. It was certainly an experiment. Basically just wanted to see if we could make a movie on our own.

As for the music... well, I haven't heard any of it yet. I'm keeping my fingers crossed in the hopes that it will be better than the movie itself cause it's REALLY not that good. I was actually tempted to put my name on it as the famed "Allen Smithy". At least I'll have something to look back on in my career and laugh at. Or... er... groan at.

Thanks for taking a peek at it Don. Maybe I can show this post to my partner and he'll finally get the hint.
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ScriptNurse
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« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2009, 08:58:05 PM »

Oh, I get it ... it's an art film ... not much to see and the characters talk ... and talk ... uh, it's very talky. There are 6 speeches. The dialogue contains a LOT of unnecessary words. My assessment is that you've got 9-10 minutes of story that you're going to tell in 16-18 minutes. I hope your music is good.

About that opening scene:

Are you saying it's one, long single shot? Surely, that cannot be. Even the opening scene of The Player, written by Michael Tolkin and directed by Robert Altman, is only 8 minutes. Your opening scene is 10-4/8 pages.
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Don BledsoeWant to write screenplays? READ SCREENPLAYS!
Screenwriter & ProducerWant control? GO TO FILM SCHOOL!
Representation: Eileen OFarrell, OFarrell Management (818) 985-3136
Attorney: Paul S. Levine (310) 450-6711
Websites: Script Nurse, Go With The Flo Productions Inc., Queen Dad
rnbrewer
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« on: November 29, 2009, 01:14:39 AM »

I believe I started posting about this a while back, but I haven't had much news since then and, quite frankly, haven't felt the need to post till now. We recently wrapped up production on a short film entitled, "The Choice." It was our first time filming, and as one can imagine it didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. We filmed the whole thing starting from the end and worked our way back to the beginning. I had hoped that by the time we got there we would have learned enough to make the opening scene look good. However, this was not the case. In fact, the ending actually looks pretty good compared to the beginning.

The script was one that my good friend and partner wrote and I assumed the role of producer/director. I also star as one of the characters (the Man in Black). I didn't really care to do any acting in this one, but since we were working on a low-to-no budget our choices were fairly slim. The script was good, but I was constantly at odds with my partner about the first scene (which is neary 12 pages long). I tried to explain to him that sort of thing is frowned upon and that it would be much easier to shoot if it contained shorter, more managable scenes. Alas, my advice was disregarded and shooting went on as planned. I've taken the liberty of including the script with this post, so feel free to take a gander and tell me (honestly) what you think. If we ever get the music finished I'll be sure to post the film somewhere where everyone can see it. Enjoy!
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