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Author Topic: Bullets for Barry  (Read 1079 times)
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GuyM
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« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2010, 03:02:20 AM »

Hope you get some quality notes out of the process.
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ryan_ederer
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« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2010, 09:12:15 PM »

Sounds good Guy, I will be checking that out. Thanks!
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GuyM
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« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2010, 04:53:23 PM »

Hey Ryan! Hadn't checked in for a while or seen your post. I'm currently committed to reading some screenplays for a few other writer friends that I know from elsewhere in cyberspace. However, if you still need a reader in a few weeks time, I'll be checking back in when I'm less busy and will be happy to help.

In the mean time....... if you are having trouble finding readers, you do have a couple of other options which you may already know about but I'll post in case you don't. Both the zoetrope.com and triggerstreet websites offer a place for writers to post their work and receive feedback (I'm sure there are others). I've only used zoetrope. I've met some nice people and recieved some decent notes through it but it is also known for people getting quite petty and vindictive at times. It is also worth remembering that there is no guarantee that the person giving you feedback isn't some glue sniffing, talentless, half-wit who's feeling bitter about the notes they received on their supposedly funny, 130 page, screenplay about an invisible unicorn trying to win a fart contest. Someone who is just looking to tear someone else's work down.

To post on zoetrope you need to;
1. Register on the site. It's free.
2. Provide notes on four screenplays currently up on the site.
3. Have your work registered with someone like the WGA (writerguard would be a cheaper alternative) to help protect against plagiarism.
4. Have your work in a PDF format.

Obviously, writing notes for others is the time consuming part but if you make a sincere and genuine effort to give diplomatic, constructive and useful notes, then you'll find it beneficial to your own craft (IMHO). That said, I think people on this site are generally nicer and I hope someone else on here can offer some notes on Bullets For Barry before I can. I would really recommend you do the best job you can proofreading before posting anything for feedback. If your work is full of typos and spelling mistakes, feedback tends to be largely concerned with pointing all those out rather than focusing on things like structure and character arcs, which is really what you need to hear other peoples opinions on.

All the best.



   
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ryan_ederer
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« on: July 28, 2010, 10:44:23 PM »

Bullets for Barry is a feature script that I co-wrote with my writing partner. It's a comedy that follows Barry Whitlock, a lowly IT programmer at a sanitation department in Trenton, NJ.  Deuce Di Natale is the head of the local mob, and was recently appointed the head of the sanitation department where he and Mayor Carsissi siphon city funds and launder it through Deuce's legitimate businesses.  However, a recent sex scandal involving the mayor causes Deuce to "dispose" of him. They contact the dump to find a car to dispose of the evidence, and a mix up causes Barry to end up with the body in his car.  It is a story of an ordinary (and someone pathetic) guy that is put in an extraordinary situation and to defeat his personal shortcomings to become a hero and save the girl he loves with the help of a raunchy but loyal roommate.   As of yesterday we finished the first rewrite and as this is only my second full length feature, I am still unsure how it would stand in regards to being considered "professional quality".  If anyone would be interested in reading it, I would be glad to email you a copy or post it on another board.  Look forward to hearing from you all.

Cheers,
RE 
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